What is a Gray Divorce? | Understand and Manage Gray Divorce

What is a Gray Divorce? | Understand and Manage Gray Divorce

Imagine this: you’ve built a life together for decades and raised a family, and now, with retirement on the horizon, your marriage is taking an unexpected turn. This is the reality for a growing number of couples facing what’s known as a “gray divorce,” a divorce later in life, typically over the age of 50.
If you find yourself contemplating a gray divorce, you’re likely facing a unique set of challenges. This blog post will delve into the specifics of gray divorce, from the emotional rollercoaster to the complex financial considerations.
But most importantly, we’ll offer hope and guidance. Here at the Zukerman Law Group, we specialize in helping couples navigate the complexities of gray divorce with compassion and expertise. We understand the emotional toll and financial anxieties that come with this process, and we’re here to help you navigate towards a brighter future.

What is a Gray Divorce?

In short, the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) coined the term “gray divorce” to describe divorces involving people who are 50 years of age or older. In fact, according to a 2021 study from the U.S. Census Department, spouses 55 years of age or older accounted for 34.9% of all divorces. Divorce is not restricted to older adults, but the rise in divorces in later life raises the question: Why the change of heart, and why now?

The Most Common Reasons for Gray Divorce

The Most Common Reasons for Gray Divorce

Certain causes of gray divorce, such as addiction, abuse, or infidelity, are also responsible for younger couples’ divorces; however, other factors are specific to long-married couples. The following are the most common reasons why couples pursue a gray divorce:

Empty Nest Syndrome

For many couples, children act as a unifying force. Once they leave the nest, some couples find they have little left in common, and the emotional distance widens.

Married Couples Are Living Longer

Advancements in science, medicine, and technology have led to healthier, longer lives for Americans. In 2023, the average life expectancy in the U.S. is 79.11 years, almost 10 years longer than the 1960s. This can cause older couples to reflect on their future with the same partner. It is leading some to choose divorce to live their remaining years happily and comfortably.

Reduced Divorce Stigma

In 2023, the stigma surrounding divorce has decreased due to increased visibility, varying definitions of marriage and family, cultural shifts, and increased economic independence for women.
This has led to more couples choosing gray divorces without the guilt and fear of social backlash, financial repercussions, and other negative consequences.

Financial Disputes

Disagreements over finances often cause gray divorce, as older couples often have more wealth than younger ones. These disputes can involve investments, budgeting, or retirement fund spending. No matter the specific reasoning, arguments over money can strain a relationship and very often lead to gray divorce.

Desire for a More Fulfilling Life

In previous generations, there was often a prevailing belief that couples should stay in their marriages regardless of personal unhappiness. Nowadays, individuals are discovering greater satisfaction through hobbies, leisure activities, and career pursuits, leading them to see divorce as a pathway to a more fulfilling life.

Individual Growth

People change as they age. They discover new passions, alter their priorities, and focus on different experiences. When these changes don’t align with your partner’s, it can sometimes be hard to maintain the spark you once felt.

Key Issues to Prepare for During Gray Divorce

Key Issues to Prepare for During Gray Divorce

Gray divorces present unique challenges for older couples, which younger couples are less likely to face. It’s crucial for older individuals to seek experienced divorce attorneys to navigate these challenges. Some common issues faced by couples that are unique to gray divorce include:

Dividing Assets and Debts

Property division becomes more complicated for older couples because they typically have more assets that have accumulated over time. This could contain valuable personal items, assets, and several real estate properties. There can also be large debts that need to be shared at the same time.

Retirement Benefit Division

After a long marriage, couples typically have significant retirement assets that need to be shared. Due to the laws and regulations that apply specifically to retirement accounts, this can be a complicated process. The way these assets are divided can have a significant effect on how secure each spouse’s retirement will be financially.

Spousal Maintenance

A spouse may receive spousal maintenance, often known as alimony, from the court. Spousal maintenance is paid out in different amounts and for different lengths of time depending on several factors, including the length of the marriage, each partner’s age and physical condition, and each spouse’s earning and financial capacities.
In gray divorces, it isn’t uncommon for one spouse to have been out of the workforce for years or decades, making it difficult for them to become financially independent post-divorce.

Health Insurance and Medical Costs

For older couples going through a gray divorce, health insurance is typically a critical issue. If one spouse was insured by the other, this coverage may end upon divorce, and they may be subject to high charges or perhaps be denied coverage because of pre-existing medical issues. Furthermore, medical expenses typically rise with age, and this must be taken into account in any settlement agreement.

How the Zukerman Law Group Can Help You Navigate a Gray Divorce

How the Zukerman Law Group Can Help You Navigate a Gray Divorce

acing a gray divorce can be daunting, but you don’t have to go through it alone. The Zukerman Law Group understands the unique challenges that come with dissolving a long-term marriage later in life. Our team of experienced family law professionals is dedicated to helping you achieve a fair and respectful outcome throughout the process.
Here’s how the Zukerman Law Group can be your trusted partner during your gray divorce:

  • Protecting Your Financial Security: We have extensive experience in dividing complex marital assets, including retirement accounts, pensions, and investments. We’ll work tirelessly to ensure you receive a fair share of the marital estate.
  • Navigating Retirement Accounts: Retirement accounts are a critical consideration in gray divorce. Our legal team is well-versed in Qualified Domestic Relations Orders (QDROs) and other legal instruments needed to properly divide these assets without jeopardizing your future financial security.
  • Understanding Your Options: Whether you’re considering mediation, collaborative divorce, or litigation, we’ll guide you through the different options available and help you choose the approach that best suits your needs and goals.

Contact the Zukerman Law Group today for a free consultation. Our experienced family law attorneys will answer your questions, address your concerns, and guide you toward a brighter future. Call us at 604-575-5464 or visit our website to schedule your consultation today.


Gray divorce is a growing trend, and for good reason. As people live longer, healthier lives, they may find themselves re-evaluating their happiness and priorities later in life. While the decision to divorce is never easy, especially after decades of marriage, it’s important to know you have options.
The unique challenges of gray divorce require a legal team with the experience and understanding to navigate the complexities of dividing assets, handling retirement accounts, and ensuring a fair and respectful outcome.
The Zukerman Law Group is here to help you navigate your gray divorce with compassion, expertise, and a proven track record of success.


  • 1- What are the cons of gray divorce?1

    • Financial instability
    • Loss of retirement benefits
    • Health insurance issues
    • High legal costs
    • Emotional and psychological stress
    • Impact on adult children and family dynamics
    • Potential for prolonged legal proceedings
    • Difficulty re-entering the workforce
    • Increased medical expenses
    • Division of significant assets and debts

  • 2- Why do so many older couples get divorced?1

    While younger couples often separate due to incompatible parenting styles or difficult relatives, older couples are more likely to divorce because of empty nest syndrome, infidelity, and financial disagreements.

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Stuart Zukerman

Stuart Zukerman, a graduate of the University of British Columbia, has over 32 years of experience in litigation with a focus on Family Law, Personal Injury, Wrongful Dismissal claims, and Collaborative Divorce & Mediation. He has extensive trial experience in divorce, child custody, spousal support, asset division, and ICBC injury claims. As an accredited Family Law Mediator, he helps resolve disputes without court intervention. Stuart has also authored papers on family law and lectured at CLE courses.